The Rainbow of Promise

As I stepped out on to the back steps and breathed in the fresh morning air that only comes after much needed rain, I felt relief and happiness to be home after the a long weekend surrounded by concrete and noise in Las Vegas. The golden light of the rising sun beginning to glow behind the foot hills across the reservoir as I started down the dirt road. I looked to the west to see if the predicted storm would creep in on this beautiful sunny morning. There, with the threatening clouds in its background was the beginnings of a rainbow, not brilliant but very much there. As the sun made its way over the hilltops I looked to see how its rays would bring out the colors against the dark gray clouds. The colors began to become more brilliant, so looked for the other end...there it was landing right beside our home in cornfield. As the sun rose a complete rainbow framed the property with our home nestled, picturesquely in the right corner against the end of the rainbow. It was breathtaking! I stopped and took in the beautiful scene, cementing it in my memory for later years. Our home has an always been temporary with only one year of security promised at a time. But the days had turned in to months, months in to years and we have now been out on the ranch for 23 years! Yet, even so, we are only assured one more year "or so". I had always been assured that we would be there until the kids were through high school. This year our youngest son would graduate, the following year Caressa, our last would. Where we would be after that,who knew? But there it was in the sky, the sign of promise. That after storms are rainbows, that God is faithful to His promise and His love is never ceasing. Rainbows shine the brightest when dark clouds loom. We are never promised that life will never have hardships or heartache. We are promised strength for each day and hope for tomorrow. As I started down the road I heard in my head "I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between Me and the earth." Genesis 9:13. It was His covenant with me, that my future was secure where ever it would be. It was going to be a good run!

Follow the Light

Leaving the warmth of your covers and your spouse to face a cold morning run is hard enough. But doing it on a cold, dark, damp, tulle fogged-in, November, valley morning has got to be one of my all time least favorite thing to do, the other would be getting up to a rainy, windy, race day. I was recently reminded of this a few weeks ago when I got my 16 year old daughter, Lauren, out of bed for the long run of ten miles, for her upcoming first half-marathon. It was the first dark morning run of the season and something I was putting off as long as possible! We shared the light of my headlamp as we picked our way over rocks and ruts in the canal road we followed to the reservoir. Once we were on the reservoir road all you could hear was the rhythm of our feet on the pavement following the light giving us about 10 feet of path to follow. With Lauren listening to her IPod there wasn't much conversation to take up the time. My headlamp light bounced in rhythm to my gait, elusively staying in front of me, hypnotizing me as I followed it. Time and space seemed to cease and my mind wandered as I recalled that same eerie feeling I experienced running the Tahoe Super Triple.

I had finished the preceding two marathons, one, the day before and one earlier that day. I had eaten and tried to rest for the 76 mile ultra around Lake Tahoe in preparation for the midnight start time. The first leg was emotionally hard for me because all the fast ultra runners were gone, out of my sight within minutes. I knew this would happen, but I still got that "left-behind-again" feeling I always dreaded. Even though I had prepared myself, it was hard to see them one by one pass and easily put space between me and the pack. The only consolation was that one or two other Super Triple runners were within sight, one in front and one behind me. As we wound our way through South Lake Tahoe, the lights and traffic of the night life kept me entertained, but as time went by and I headed up Highway 50 the occasional oncoming traffic was scary to face. Even though I was wearing reflective clothing, headlamp and other lights fastened on me, I knew by looking at the other runners, we weren't that visible. My headlamp would be the main thing that would alert the cars that I was running against them on the highway, the only thing that would keep me from getting hit...I made sure it shined upward so they could see it well in advance of coming up on me. Once off the highway, and we turned to head towards Tahoe City, there was nothing but darkness...no streetlights, no noise, nothing... just the sound of my feet, my breathing and the light of my headlamp. I couldn't even see any other runners. All the way, from about 4:00 in the morning until day break I felt alone with the exception of my support car every hour or so. Once I left it, after eating or drinking something, I would watch it drive away leaving me behind, not knowing exactly when I would see it again. I occupied miles with mind games, singing in my head, quoting scriptures, praying... I managed my mind, my stomach, my pace...following my light. Without seeing landmarks in the dark, its hard to tell how far you are going, even with keeping track of the minutes, you feel like you are suspended in time and space, going nowhere and nobody cares you are out there. There is only you and your headlamp. Its funny what becomes important to you at a time like this. All that matters is that you have food, water, and that your batteries will last until daybreak...nothing else... nothing but empty darkness. I felt tired, alone and wondered why I thought running this was a good idea. There seemed to be no end to the night, only the plod, plod, plod of my feet and my thoughts...but then, the light of my headlamp began to fade, I looked up. The sky was beginning to slightly glow and just as if someone turned on the lights, the sun was up. Once I realized where I was I was relieved. Just then, I heard a honk... the Tahoe Marathoners being bussed to their start in Tahoe City! They cheered and waved encouragingly as they drove by and I screamed and waved at my friend, Jennifer, hanging out of the window waving...I felt like a celebrity, a hard core runner I always admired, my energy soared! With renewed spirit I picked up my pace...I did it! I was almost there!... I smiled at those feelings of that morning, what a great new day that had been! When I looked up, I realized Lauren and I were already to the half-way point...my eyes had been so focused on the my light in front of me the miles had flown by. What is your light? The light that keeps you safe, that comforts you in dark times, that shows you the way? For me, it is the strength that comes for God, that shows me how to be a better, stronger person, that transforms me into something more than I can be on my own... "God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all." 1John1:5 "Ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a light that shineth in that dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts." 2 Peter 1:19 "But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth us from all sin." 1John 1:7 Follow the Light!

New Every Morning

For me there are few things I enjoy more than waking up to a sunny, crisp morning, knowing I get to spend some time running around the hills and nearby reservoir. It wasn't always that way. I remember wondering if running would ever get easier for me. "Would I always feel so slow and heavy?" I wondered as I plugged along down the dirt road past our house. I can still hear myself saying in my head that first day, that first mile, " just keep moving the whole mile...don't stop! You don't have to go fast, just keep going...." Each day I went out to run the my mileage I decided on, I would remind myself, "don't stop, if you stop, you won't want to keep running. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.." Each day I would come back, tired, tight legs, soak in a hot tub with Epsom salts and wonder if I would be able to move the next day. But each day, there was strength to get it done. As days went by and the miles increased, 5, 8, 10, miles, I was still telling myself, "don't stop, keep moving, one foot in front of the other..." and the strength to go on was there. Some days it was easier to run than others. Some days felt like I was on a treadmill...running and running, never getting anywhere. But whether I felt it or not there was enough energy to finish my miles. It soon occurred to me that love, joy, peace, happiness are all given to us fresh everyday by God just like physical energy. We have more the more we us it. He gives us forgiveness for our selfishness, our wrong choices if we ask for it every morning and then He encourages us, "Its a new day, get out there, put one foot in front of the other, you have enough to get it done." It reminded me of a verse in the Bible, "It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassion fails not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness." Psalms 3:22,23. Our faithfulness, the stength to keep putting one foot in front of the other, to do the righteous thing, depends on His mercy, His compassion. Now days, when I step into the sunshine, anticipating all that my run will bring me, I know without a doubt I will finish the miles, no matter how many, how hard, or how long it takes me I WILL finish...its a good feeling!

"Arise! Take up they bed and walk...or rather run!"

How many times had I started...started diets, started exercising, started "getting healthy" (whatever that means) only to put it off by "starting tomorrow." The hardest step in running for me was getting out of bed! Getting up in the morning, getting my running clothes on, getting out the door...each of these a battle with my own mind and it continued on everyday until I changed my mind, changed my reason for running. In the past, I ran because I had to for an aerobic class and or because I wanted to lose weight, but once I had finished those goals the desire to run got crowded out by other life activities that were "more important." This time, the goal, "to see if I could finish," kept changing and evolving. First, it was to see if I could "just finish a marathon." Then it became, "see if I can finish faster." The funny thing was even though I finished faster I was more discouraged than inspired... here's what happened.

My oldest brother Mario suggested Norman ( my other older brother) and I run the LA Marathon with him. Norman and I had just completed hiking half of the John Muir Trail putting in 8 to 17 miles a day with 40 lb back packs. Mario was supposed to have gone with us but his attorney schedule conflicted with the trip. Thus, the invitation to join him in LA. I figured it couldn't be any worse than hiking up 10,000+ peaks to the base of the next one "who knows how far" down the trail, trying to keep up with Norman's very fast hiking pace. In fact, I actually started "running" on that trip trying to keep Norman in sight. I'd grab my backpack straps, crouch down and "scoot" along with quick small steps in order to stay within view of his back side. This was faster and easier on my hips than trying to stride longer and became my running style later. (However, I was later informed by my kids when they saw me that they could walk faster than I could run!) Anyway, I asked Mario what time an average person should run a marathon in and he said under 5 hours. So that became my goal...to finish under 5 hours...and I did..4:42 to be exact and I was elated! That is until Mario mentioned that "you aren't a real runner until you finish under 4..."Oh!...I'm not a real runner? Even though he didn't finish (he twisted his ankle a few miles into the race and had to bail out) and I left Norman behind me and finished a solid half-hour ahead of him? (Another one of my goals on that marathon, to finish before Norman, so I wouldn't have to "keep up" with him like I did on the John Muir) So, I decided to run Silicon Valley Marathon and see if I could get a 4 hour marathon. I thought I was on pace for the 4 but when I ran into the finish I saw I was off by the 1.2 mile and ended up with a 4:14...28 minutes faster than LA but I was so disappointed I didn't get my 4 hour marathon I almost quit running! I beat myself up for a week and couldn't enjoy my great improvement! It was at that point I shift....I had to re-evaluate why I was running. And being the sanguine personality that I am, I decided that if I was going to keep running I would have to do it to have fun! From that point on, my goal in running was to enjoy it. Not to get healthy, not "to reach goals" but to enjoy the run. Life is too short, too full of responsibilities, too much stuff to cram into the day that you "have to do", running couldn't be "one more thing I have to do today". If I was going to keep running I would do it because I WANT to, I would have fun with it! I would run at a pace that I could relax in, the time I would spend running would be MY time to enjoy, to think, to talk to God, to leave my troubles and responsibilities behind...I could live with that..what's not to look forward to? It would be a mini-vacation....and that is what gets me out of bed!

Ten Years Later

This year marks ten years of running...a journey I never dreamed of taking much less continuing on for this long. I will be celebrating this milestone by returning to run my first marathon, the LA Marathon. Joining me will be oldest brother, Mario, who encouraged me to run it in the beginning and my youngest daughter, Lauren, this will be her first marathon. If you had told me I would run farther than five miles, or a marathon, and then go on to run ultras and qualify for the Boston Marathon I would have never believed you. But through the experience of running I have accomplished things I never thought my physical body would do or endure. Running 4 consecutive marathons in four days or circling Lake Tahoe almost twice in a total less than 30 hours have been surpassed by many people... but for me these accomplishments were huge having tried to run but always quit after getting to about 5 miles. I have always been great at starting things but not so good a staying with them. Running became a way of learning how to finish something I started. It not only built strength and endurance of the physical body, but for the mind and soul as well. While training, early morning runs became a time for me to reflect and reconnect with the Source of strength. It became and continues to be quiet time I not only look forward to, but need. Each day while running, I learn new insights and gain new perspectives while exercising the body and quieting the mind. I return from these runs, energized and strengthened for a new day, rejuvenated. I would like to share some of these inspirations with you in hope you too will find food for your soul and strength for the day.